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Ross Douthat on America's Crisis of Family Life (and Family Policy)

January 20, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Ross Douthat in his Christmas column for the New York Times from a few weeks ago:

[Domestic dissolution and falling marriage rates are not] an issue that politicians of either party are particularly comfortable addressing. Liberals worry about seeming paternalistic and judgmental; conservatives recoil from the idea of increasing the government’s role in the most intimate of spheres. Thus America has a crisis of family life, but no family policy to speak of.

... A more flexible alternative, championed by the conservative writers Ramesh Ponnuru and Robert Stein, would change the way we tax families, dramatically expanding the child tax credit in order to ease the burden on parents with young children. Their proposal would leave contemporary Baileys and Cratchits with more disposable income and more options without favoring one approach to parenting over another.

Obviously, neither generous parental leave nor an expanded child tax credit is a magic bullet for the problem of family breakdown. But if Democrats were championing the first idea and Republicans were championing the second, we would at least have the beginnings of a healthy conversation about family policy, instead of the conspicuous silence that surrounds the country’s biggest social crisis.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Children, Culture, Marriage, Parenting, Politics | Comments (1)

8-Year-Old: "When I Grow Up, I Don't Think I'll Get Married. I Think I'll Just Get Some Sperm."

January 20, 2012 at 11:00 am

A startling example which shows how the choices of adults influence the perceptions and expectations of children:

A couple of years ago, my daughter and I were playing the classic board game "Life," and her little car reached the roadblock at which everybody -- absolutely everybody -- gets married.

Needless to say, given a new set of striking statistics last week that showed a record low of 51% of American adults are married, "Life" was designed many decades ago. The study by the Pew Research Center further found that 40% of births these days are to unmarried mothers, and a similar percentage of Americans say marriage is becoming obsolete.

My daughter Liliana, who was 8 when we were playing the board game, tossed off this remark as she stuck the tiny blue husband pin into her car: "When I grow up, I don't think I'll get married. I think I'll just get some sperm."

How we reap what we sow! Liliana was old enough to know the story of her own origins, and it goes like this: When I turned 39, still single, I resolved to become a mother on my own and bought eight vials of donor sperm. But then I met her father, Sprax, and he agreed to help me have a baby the old-fashioned way. We went through many ups and downs, even splitting up for a couple of years, but finally realized that we loved each other, got back together and went on to have her baby brother. When Liliana was almost 4, we got married.

So there I was -- the former single mother by choice, the typical Massachusetts type who deeply believes that there are a hundred great ways to make a family and that life can also be wonderful without one -- and I found myself responding to my daughter: "That would be fine if you just get some sperm, sweetheart, but you know, being married is actually really nice, too." -- CNN

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Children, Culture, Ethics, Science | Comments (8)

Marriage Battles Heating Up, NOM Marriage News, January 20, 2012

January 20, 2012 at 10:20 am

NOM National Newsletter

My Dear Friends,

Game on!

In New Jersey, politicians are trying to rush through a gay marriage bill.

They claim that civil unions have failed—even though there's not one document-substantiated complaint upheld by the civil unions commission designated to investigate compliance with the civil union law.

Advocates of gay marriage are counting on Gov. Chris Christie, the truth-teller, the straight talker whom we all love for his candid fearlessness—to renege on his clear campaign promise to veto same-sex marriage.

It would break a lot of hearts to find that Gov. Christie is really a conventional kind of politician, one who bends and sways in the wind, one who goes against his word if the big-dollar Republican money guys (who swayed New York's GOP to pass gay marriage) push hard enough.

Don't you believe it! Gov. Christie is a man of his word and in this case his words could not be clearer.

During the campaign, he said he opposed same-sex marriage. And after he won the election he spoke to New Jersey Republicans to confirm: "If a same-sex marriage bill comes to the desk of Governor Christie, it will be returned to the legislature with a big red veto across it because, one, I believe that and I made it very clear to people during the entire campaign that that was my position and so there will be no surprise for the 1.2 million people who voted for me that that was and that is my position."

The video we have comes from a NOM supporter who was there. It's got that homemade quality but I still think you'd like to see it, to see for yourself Gov. Christie's firm pledge:

 

He continued: "We'll continue to stand for those things and many others that I won't continue to interrupt your dinner with, but those issues—making New Jersey more affordable, less taxes, less spending, and standing up for the values we believe in so strongly as a society and setting an example at the top for saying those things, even at times when they may be politically unpopular, is what I think people expect of leaders."

I have to be candid with you: We are facing a series of very tough fights, not only in New Jersey but throughout the country, as gay-marriage advocates push to replicate what happened in New York, and hope to persuade the Supreme Court to impose gay marriage on all 50 states.

In Washington, they claim to be just a few votes short of passing a gay marriage bill through the state senate, without a vote of the people. In both Washington and New Jersey the Democrats have decided, in the middle of an economic collapse causing budget crises, to make pushing a gay marriage bill their number one priority.

It was announced this week that the vote to repeal gay marriage in New Hampshire takes place on Feb. 1. And we will find out shortly whether gay-marriage advocates will try to reverse their loss in Maine this November.

Under these circumstances I have to thank you again for the amazing response to NOM's Year-End Million Dollar Match money bomb. A generous donor pledged to match every dollar you gave if we could raise $1 million by New Year's Day.

And guess what? We did it!

Impossible victories have happened again and again during NOM's tenure. I can't promise you what will happen in all these close fights, but I can promise you this: Thanks to you, NOM will be in this fight. I will never give up, as long as I have the comradeship and support and prayers of good people like you.

We cannot cravenly surrender the truth about marriage, or justice for children.

We cannot and will not. We will fight this good fight, and in the end we know Who wins.

God bless you and keep you. Thank you for your prayers and your support.

Faithfully,

Brian Brown

Brian S Brown

Brian S. Brown
President
National Organization for Marriage

 

P.S. As these fights unfold, will you stand beside us? When you give to NOM you are standing up for your values and making sure that your voice is heard in the corridors of power.

Donate Now

Brian Brown
By Brian Brown | Posted in NOM Marriage News | Comments (1)

Brian Brown to Flip-Flopping Senators: "Money Won't Save You"

January 20, 2012 at 10:00 am

Our president Brian Brown reminds readers of the New York Times that voters, not money, will decide the fate of the New York Republican Senators who betrayed them on marriage:

Senator James S. Alesi of East Rochester, the first Republican to say he would support same-sex marriage, had not filed his fund-raising report by Tuesday evening, but said in an interview that he would report having raised $350,000 to $400,000 during the same period. Mr. Alesi said more than half of his new donations came from same-sex marriage supporters.

“I didn’t vote for the money, but it’s gratifying to know that support is there, especially coming into an election year,” he said. “It’s more gratifying to me when someone comes up to me and says, ‘I appreciate your vote’; you can’t put a price on that.”

The senators will need the help. Same-sex marriage opponents have promised to target them when all state lawmakers face re-election in November.

“All the money in the world isn’t going to buy them out of the fact that they’re about to lose an election,” said Brian Brown, the president of the National Organization for Marriage, which opposed the New York law and has said it will spend heavily to oust the four senators.

“People are outraged by what they’ve done, and they are going to be held accountable,” he said.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in New York, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (4)

Storobin Raises $120K for Special Election to Replace Disgraced Sen. Kruger

January 20, 2012 at 9:00 am

PolitickerNY:

Sources close to Republican David Storobin’s campaign tellPoliticker that the candidate has loaned himself $50,000 and raised a healthy $70,000 from donors so far in his quest to replace former State Senator Carl Kruger.

Mr. Kruger resigned before pleading guilty to federal corruption charges less than a month ago, setting up the current vacancy. Mr. Storobin is running his first campaign for elected office and started raising less than three weeks ago, making his fundraising tally a notable haul.

... The resulting fundraising dynamic between Mr. Fidler and Mr. Storobin looks like it might mirror another recent special election in southeastern Brooklyn, where now-Congressman Bob Turner raised less than half of what his Democratic opponent did, and a tiny fraction of all Democratic spending.

Indeed, Congressman Turner’s success is a primary reason for Republican optimism in their chances of taking over the seat once held by Mr. Kruger. Mr. Turner won roughly two votes in this State Senate district for every vote his opponent received, despite the fact that the area is largely Democratic in registration.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in New York, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (1)

Economist Says Gay Marriage Undermines New Hampshire's Fiscal Stability

January 20, 2012 at 8:00 am

Foster Daily Democrat:

Economist Scott Moody believes the devaluation of marriage through same-sex marriage will eventually ensure a population in New Hampshire where the shrinking, younger generation will no longer be able to support the state's economy.

"At this point, marriage no longer has any meaning," said Moody.

During a Foster's Daily Democrat editorial board meeting on Tuesday, Moody, a member of the leadership and staff team with Cornerstone Policy Research, explained this concern, among other underlying concerns, that may be solved with the passage of HB 437.

The bill currently before the New Hampshire Legislature would repeal the state's same-sex marriage law.

According to Moody, several concerns relating to children's rights and demographics have risen in the last several years. These concerns could be alleviated if the proposed bill to be discussed in February is passed.

... Moody's argument in favor of repealing same-sex marriage in the state remained relatively free of faith and morality based assertions, though he did admit those beliefs were still very much rooted within the foundation of the repealment of the same sex-marriage law in New Hampshire and across the nation.

According to Moody, there all of a sudden seems to be a cultural movement toward same-sex marriage. However, many states, some considered even more liberal than New Hampshire, have repealed the law when given the chance, most notably, he said, Maine. Moody said even in New Hampshire, the same-sex marriage law passed by one vote and was signed into law by a governor he claimed never failed to flip-flop on the issue when discussed.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Children, Economics, Marriage, New Hampshire, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (6)

School: Opposition to Gay Adoption is “Bullying”

January 20, 2012 at 7:00 am

Todd Starnes at Fox News & Commentary:

A Wisconsin high school is in the middle of a free speech debate after they apologized for publishing a student essay opposing gay families who adopt children. School officials called the essay a form of “bullying and disrespect.”

The column ran on the editorial page of the Shawano High School student newspaper. It was part of an op-ed featuring a student supporting gay families who adopt children and one opposed to the idea.

... The school district profusely apologized after a gay couple – who has a child at the school – complained.

“This is why kids commit suicide,” Nick Uttecht told the Green Bay Press Gazette. “When I saw this I was in shock.”

The school district released a statement apologizing for the story.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Adoption, Civility, Education, Wisconsin | Comments (14)

The Seattle Times: NOM Vows to Defeat GOP Lawmakers Who Vote for SSM

January 19, 2012 at 4:00 pm

The Seattle Times:

The National Organization for Marriage, part of a broad coalition of religious and conservative groups opposed to Washington state's same-sex marriage legislation, said Wednesday it will spend $250,000 to help defeat any Republican lawmakers who vote in favor of the bill.

NOM, based in Washington, D.C., said it was effective in ending the careers of Republicans who supported gay marriage in other states.

The group also said it will work to ensure Washington residents have a chance to vote on the same-sex marriage legislation in November.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage, Same Sex Marriage, Washington | Comments (12)

Pro-Family Leader James Dobson Endorses Rick Santorum

January 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm

LifeNews:

James Dobson, the founder and former president of Focus on the Family, has joined a number of social conservative and pro-life leaders have who announced endorsements for Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

Dobson today announced his personal endorsement of the former Pennsylvania senator, and is not speaking on behalf of the pro-life Christian group he led before his retirement.

“The institution of the family is the key issue facing this great nation. It is the foundation, the bedrock, upon which every dimension of Western Civilization rests,” he said. “If it is undermined or weakened by cultural and governmental forces, the entire superstructure will collapse in short order. And indeed, today it is in serious jeopardy. The very definition of marriage is threatened, which has implications for the next generation and the stability of society itself.”

“Of all the Republican candidates who are vying for the presidency, former Sen. Santorum is the one who has spoken passionately in every debate about this concern,” Dobson continued. “He has pleaded with the nation and its leaders to come to the aid of marriages, parents, and their children. What a refreshing message.”

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage Election Watch, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (6)

New Hampshire Marriage Restoration Vote To Happen in February

January 19, 2012 at 1:00 pm

The Eagle Tribune on New Hampshire Republicans being sensitive to other urgent business along with their commitment to vote on a marriage restoration bill:

Republican House leaders have delayed the vote on gay marriage, House Majority Leader D.J. Bettencourt, R-Salem, said yesterday.

"The legislation will not be considered for a floor vote until February," Bettencourt said in an email.

"We must deal with some critical financial and economic-related legislation first, as well as legislative redistricting, prior to any discussion of gay marriage," he said. "It's critical to keep to keep legislative priorities in their proper order."

Bettencourt said in late December the House would most likely vote on the issue Jan. 11 or today.

Yesterday, Bettencourt said he was only speculating at the time and that House Speaker William O'Brien, R-Mont Vernon, controls the House calendar.

The vote on House Bill 437 was never formally scheduled, Bettencourt said.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage, New Hampshire, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (1)

WaPo: Maryland House Speaker Facing "Tough Road Ahead" on SSM

January 19, 2012 at 12:00 pm

The Washington Post on the unusual methods being used to push the same-sex marriage bill forward in the House:

In a sign of the tough road ahead for same-sex marriage legislation in Maryland, House Speaker Michael E. Busch said Monday that he would assign this year’s bill to two committees instead of one, a procedural change that could increase the measure’s chances of passage.

Busch (D-Anne Arundel) said the decision would allow more delegates to closely examine the controversial measure, which died unexpectedly on the House floor last year after narrowly passing the Senate.

But critics said the move suggests the votes are not there this year to advance the bill from the Judiciary Committee, the House panel that approved it last year, to the full chamber.

At times in the past, when bills have been “jointly referred” to two committees, House leaders have used a majority vote from just one panel as justification to send legislation to the floor. House rules are largely silent on such situations but grant the speaker considerable leeway on committee assignments.

“This issue is way too important to be playing games with,” House Minority Leader Anthony J. O’Donnell (R-Calvert), an opponent of same-sex marriage, said upon learning of Busch’s decision. “I guess it shows a great lack of confidence in the Judiciary Committee. I think that committee is capable of doing the job.”

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage, Maryland, Same Sex Marriage | Comments Off on WaPo: Maryland House Speaker Facing "Tough Road Ahead" on SSM

WA State Sen. Padden Issues Statement Opposing Gay Marriage

January 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

The Spokane Examiner:

Sen. Mike Padden, (R-Spokane Valley) who represents the 4th District and sits on the Senate Judiciary Committee, said he does not support the effort in a statement issued Tuesday:

“I do not support changing the traditional definition of marriage," he said, adding that he would "oppose any bill that attempts to redefine marriage as anything other than its historic definition as a union of one man and one woman."

Padden, a former district court judge who was sworn into office last November, disagrees. “Marriage has always been understood as a comprehensive relationship between a man and woman, as husband and wife, grounded in their complementary nature and their ability to naturally conceive and give birth to children, as father and mother," Padden said.

“The state has always recognized the special nature of that relationship and its benefits for society as a whole,” he added

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage, Same Sex Marriage, Washington | Comments (16)

The Gay Male Couple’s Guide to Nonmonogamy

January 19, 2012 at 10:00 am

Daniel Vaillancourt, in the gay newspaper The Advocate, has a frank conversation about nonmonogamy in same-sex male partnerships:

Mikey Rox and Everett Earl Morrow, both now 30, were committed to monogamy when they met and fell in love. That was five years ago. “After a couple instances of infidelity to which we both confessed, we decided it’s not realistic to expect either of us to never hook up with anyone else ever again,” says Rox, principal of Paper Rox Scissors Copy and Creative in Manhattan. The legally married couple has had an open relationship for the last two years. “Who wouldn’t want to be allowed to hook up with other guys and have their husband be OK with it?” he asks. “Isn’t that what most men dream of, and isn’t the limitation of sex with one partner in a marriage the reason why so many people cheat?” Adds Morrow, “As two men, sex isn’t particularly emotional for either of us. That enables us to separate our love for one another from the occasional physical attraction we may have for another guy.”

Matthew and Pablo, married 40-something realtors in Palm Springs, Calif., were monogamous for the first eight of their 15 years together. “We sort of just fell into our open relationship,” says Matthew. “It’s been a slow evolution. In the beginning, we only played together, which made it feel less threatening.” They still enjoy the occasional threesome, but for the last few years have increasingly sought sex outside the relationship.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Culture, Same Sex Marriage | Comments (49)

Prof. Tom Farr of Georgetown U. on Marriage and Religious Liberty

January 19, 2012 at 9:00 am

In a recent interview in the National Catholic Register:

Yesterday, a group of U.S. religious leaders — including Catholics, Protestants, Orthodox Jews and Sikhs — released an “open letter,” “Marriage and Religious Freedom: Fundamental Goods That Stand or Fall Together.” Among other issues, the letter expressed alarm about the threat legal same-sex “marriage” poses to the free exercise of religion in this country.

This is a powerful statement. It is an encouraging and, frankly, very American phenomenon when religious groups with deep theological differences come together in defense of marriage and of religious freedom. The power of the statement comes from the truths it expresses. It sounds the alarm about the sweeping consequences for our society if the definition of marriage is overturned and about the threat to religious liberty implicit in such an act.

The letter itself is an example of religious liberty in action — public advocacy by religious actors on behalf of truths they hold sacred and which they believe central to protecting the common good.

There are those who would contend that this kind of public religious advocacy violates the separation of church and state. That reading of our Constitution is nonsense, but it exists, and it poses a danger both to marriage and religious freedom.

Consider Judge Vaughn Walker’s 2010 ruling on Proposition 8, the California referendum affirming marriage as between one man and one woman. He simply declared that the vote was in part motivated by religious and moral values, that those values did not and cannot meet constitutional standards of rationality, and that, therefore, the outcome of the referendum was unconstitutional.

Should this reasoning be more widely adopted by the courts, it would pose a severe threat to religious liberty by reducing the capacity of religious actors to prevail in democratic deliberation with religion-specific or even religiously derived moral arguments. It would implicate issues from marriage to abortion to the cloning of human beings for medical research.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Marriage, Religious Liberty, Same Sex Marriage | Comments Off on Prof. Tom Farr of Georgetown U. on Marriage and Religious Liberty

Catholic Bishops of Washington Call on Faithful to Protect Marriage

January 19, 2012 at 8:00 am

An excerpt from their letter published today:

Upholding the present definition of marriage does not depend on anyone’s religious beliefs. Washington State’s present law defining marriage as “a civil contract between a male and a female” is grounded not in faith, but in reason and the experience of society. It recognizes the value of marriage as a bond of personal relationships, but also in terms of the unique and irreplaceable potential of a man and woman to conceive and nurture new life, thus contributing to the continuation of the human race. A change in legislation would mean that the state would no longer recognize the unique sacrifices and contributions made by these couples, thereby adding to the forces already undermining family life today.

For these reasons, we the Catholic Bishops of Washington State call on the citizens of this state to maintain the legal definition of marriage. We ask all to join in praying with us for married couples and families and to do everything possible to support them.

NOM
By NOM Staff | Posted in Catholic Church, Marriage, Same Sex Marriage, Washington | Comments Off on Catholic Bishops of Washington Call on Faithful to Protect Marriage
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