NOM BLOG

Monthly Archives: December 2011

National Marriage Project Highlights Key Role of Generosity in Happy Marriages

From a New York Times blog dedicated to matters of health:

Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women. Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive?

The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy,” according to the latest “State of Our Unions” report from the National Marriage Project.

New UK Free Schools and Academies to Promote Marriage

Jimmy Kilpatrick of Education News in Britain writes:

The importance of marriage is to be taught to every pupil at the Government’s flagship free schools and academies.

The schools will be made to sign up to strict new rules introduced by Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, setting out what pupils must learn about sex and relationships.

Headteachers will be told that children must be “protected from inappropriate teaching materials and learn the nature of marriage and its importance for family life and for bringing up children”.

But the decision to spell out an explicit endorsement of marriage in the curriculum for tens of thousands of children is highly politically significant, and likely to be welcomed by Conservative traditionalists who have been concerned at a perceived failure by David Cameron’s Government to deliver on pledges to support married life.

Mr Gove has introduced the “model funding agreement” as a template for how every new free school and academy is run. Ministers want a dramatic increase in the numbers of both types of schools.

... Tens of thousands of children are now taught in academies across the country.

The number of “independent” state schools, which receive funding directly from Government and have freedom over finances, curriculum and teachers pay, has mushroomed under the Coalition.

All schools, whether primary or secondary, rated “outstanding” by inspectors can now become academies without going through a lengthy application process, which has triggered a rise in numbers from just over 200 in 2010 to 1,300 now.

The funding agreement marriage clause also applies to the 24 free schools, set up by parents, teachers, faith groups and charities. Sixty more are in the pipeline and Mr Gove has made their expansion his flagship policy.

Nick Seaton, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, said: “Given the benefits that derive from marriage for young people, a short statement requiring that pupils learn its importance is entirely sensible.”

2012 Will Be The Year of Marriage, NOM Marriage News, December 9, 2011

NOM National Newsletter

My Dear Friends,

In a few weeks the people of Iowa will actually vote for the man or woman who will become the Republican candidate for President of the United States, and Leader of the Free World.

Wow, what a roller coaster-campaign of surprising twists and turns it's already been, with three or four different dark horses coming to prominence.

I've been reflecting with gratitude that, with the powerful exception of Ron Paul, most of the men and women who have led the field are firm defenders of marriage.

Here's Michele Bachmann, a NOM Marriage Pledge signer, defending marriage on Fox News.

Rick Santorum, a NOM Marriage Pledge signer, has been a hero of the movement.

Mitt Romney, a NOM Marriage Pledge signer, has always stood up for marriage as the union of a man and a woman, and in TV debates has demonstrated a calm comfort with speaking up for marriage and against gay marriage as a constitutional right.

(For Maggie's personal defense of Mitt from the charge that he's "flipped" on gay marriage, see her recent column: "Romney Never Flip-Flopped on Marriage.")

Newt Gingrich has supported a federal marriage amendment and has offered innovative solutions for the Supreme Court's tendency to usurp its own authority by inventing new constitutional rights on abortion and marriage.

Ron Paul's position on marriage, by contrast, is increasingly incomprehensible. One the one hand he's for "traditional marriage"; on the other hand he's for abolishing marriage as a legal status altogether. The one thing he's been clear about is that even though gay-marriage activists are now in court asking the Supreme Court to impose gay marriage on all 50 states—he won't support a federal marriage amendment. I do not understand how that is a coherent "leave it to the states" position.

In the middle of a campaign we all naturally get heated about our own preferred candidate, but to me, as a movement leader, the most important thing to remember is that in two months we will likely know who the nominee is, and then the biggest fight really begins.

Marriage is going to be a bigger factor in this campaign than in 2008 because the differences between the candidates are more clear, the starkness of the choice facing us more evident:

If President Obama is reelected then gay marriage is likely to be imposed on all 50 states by the Supreme Court. If he gets one more Supreme Court appointment then our generation's Roe v. Wade will become a reality.

Just last night the Ninth Circuit considered oral arguments in the Prop 8 case, Perry V. Schwarzenneger. Our own Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, head of the Ruth institute, was in the courtroom. You can read her live updates at Prop8case.com.

In another state fight, Evan Wolfson, one of the chief architects of the gay marriage movement, recently shocked the gay community by announcing to a gay newspaper that his group "Freedom to Marry" was refusing to join a coalition to push gay marriage in Maryland.

His reason? Wolfson knows that unlike in New York, any gay marriage bill in Maryland will have to be defended at the ballot box. The people will have a chance to vote, and right now he sees no reasonable chance of victory.

"We are deeply committed, as we have been for years, to ending exclusion from marriage in Maryland and throughout the country," Wolfson told the Washington Blade in an email.

But he added, "In Maryland, because of the likelihood that marriage legislation can be forced onto the ballot, the key question is not just passing a bill in the legislature, but defending it against an attack campaign via ballot measure."

"Freedom to Marry has made it clear to members of the coalition and to lawmakers that our goal is to win, not simply to pass a bill, if there is not sufficient groundwork and investment in a campaign to win at the ballot," he said.

Meanwhile, in nearby D.C., the gay press is admitting that claims of an economic bonanza from gay marriage were "unrealistic." According to the Washington Blade:

"...[The District of Columbia] Council testimony and media reports during consideration of the modern marriage bill touted extraordinary local economic benefits to come once gay and lesbian couples were permitted to marry in Washington.

"Unfortunately, although no commercial benefit was—or should be—required to justify the expansion of the civil right to marry, those projections have proven overstated and the level of anticipated revenue for local businesses has not materialized.

"The shortfall is due to both unrealistic economic forecasting by some marriage equality advocates and a notably lower number of same-sex marriages performed in the District than projected."

I'd add that the idea that gay marriage is good for the economy is not only unrealistic but absurd!

We hear the most fantastic arguments trotted out as excuses for redefining marriage, but of all the fantasies of this movement, the idea that gay marriage will somehow help the economy is the most absurd.

Consider the "Small Business Survival Index 2011" just released by the Small Business Exchange council.

Only six states have same-sex marriage. But of the 15 states with the worst business environment for small business (the incubator of job growth), fully five have gay marriage. All but two of the top 15 states, by contrast, have constitutional amendments defining marriage as one man and one woman—and none have gay marriage.

A movement that cared about truth would not push absurdities like this!

A group of 100 Orthodox rabbis had to push back against a similar attack on truth—the idea that an "Orthodox Jewish rabbi" could possibly perform a same-sex wedding, as the media tried to report.

"In response to a recent 'Orthodox' same-sex marriage ceremony conducted in Washington, D.C. by Rabbi Steve Greenberg—who is openly gay, and married Yoni Bock and Ron Kaplan at the 6th & I Synagogue in Washington in November—over 100 Orthodox Rabbis—among them some of the most prominent rabbinic figures in the Orthodox Jewish world, including Rabbi Hershel Schachter and Rabbi Hershel Reichman of Yeshiva University and Rabbi Elie Abadie of the Safra Synagogue—issued a statement declaring that, 'By definition, a union that is not sanctioned by Torah law is not an Orthodox wedding, and by definition a person who conducts such a ceremony is not an Orthodox rabbi.'"

The "public should not be misled into thinking that Orthodox Jewish values on this issue can change, are changing, or might someday change... any claims to the contrary are inaccurate and false."

Once you believe that by redefining words you can change reality—you do not accept any constraints on power.

"If it sounds good, say it" seems to be the rule; and the amazing thing is the way the mainstream media retells these intellectual absurdities without any pushback.

Par for the course, and part of what makes what you do by reading this newsletter, passing it onto friends, and supporting the work of NOM so important.

Thank you.

I'd like to end with a small post on the Minnesota Catholic Conference's "Why Marriage Matters" website, from a woman who spent ten years in an exclusive relationship with another woman. She rediscovered her faith, left that relationship, now supports the traditional understanding of marriage—and through the painful breakup process, perhaps most amazing of all, her former partner also rediscovered faith.

God works in mysterious ways but always calls each of us back towards Truth itself, to be united with love, which is who He is.

God bless you and keep you and your family always safe. Pray for all those standing up for marriage, keep love in all our hearts—and pray for those who disagree with us, that they may find a pathway to truth.

Yours, faithfully,

Brian Brown

Brian S Brown

Brian S. Brown
President
National Organization for Marriage

P.S. Will you stand with us to defend marriage today? Whether you can give $15 or $150, your donations to NOM help to build the future—by protecting the truth about marriage for your children, your grandchildren, and this great country.

Donate Now

A Link Is Not An Endorsement

Some in the gay blogosphere are trying to assert that NOM--or me--endorses the view of every blogger/article NOM links to, by the act of linking to it.

This would lead to the absurd conclusion that NOM endorses the editorial positions of the New York Times, because NOM links to them--or The Advocate for that matter, as we often link to stories in the gay press.

If you want to know what NOM's message is, there are abundant videos and press stories (including our own press releases) with me, or Brian Brown, or other NOM personnel actually speaking. Fair enough to criticize us for what we actually believe and say.

The standard "a link constitutes an endorsement" would cut off the free flow of ideas at the knees.

I would like to say personally that nothing in any argument I've ever made on gay marriage, rests on the idea that same-sex couples harm their own children at any higher rates than any other family form. (If there is data that shows this, I've never seen it.)

I have written at this point hundreds of thousands of words defending marriage as the union of husband and wife, resting on the idea that society has a special and unique interest in unions that make new life (inside or outside of marriage) and that marriage's main public mission is connecting children to their mothers and fathers.

I'm very proud of what NOM has accomplished and the way it has accomplished it.

Minnesota Elections Board Establishes New Guidelines for Campaign Disclosure

The Associated Press:

Campaign-style ads that discuss the pros or cons of same-sex marriage but don't specifically mention a 2012 vote on a Minnesota constitutional amendment will require less disclosure about who's financing them, a state board determined Thursday.

... Under the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board's guidance, ads and other public communications that mention the pending 2012 vote will require routine accounting to regulators. But those that simply bring up the topic and remain silent on why won't be considered a ballot question expenditure.

The board has grappled since summer on how to shape enforcement guidelines around the contentious ballot campaign expected to spawn millions of dollars of activity on both sides.

... A spokesman for Minnesota for Marriage, which is pushing to adopt the constitutional amendment, had little to say about the board's decision. The group and its allies have flooded the campaign board with questions about various disclosure scenarios, which prompted some of Thursday's decisions.

"It's meaty," said Chuck Darrell, the Minnesota for Marriage spokesman. "We have to take some time to look at it."

Australian Opposition Leader Will Fight To Protect Marriage

Catholic Culture World News:

The leader of Australia's parliamentary opposition has indicated that he will rally opposition to an effort to approve legal recognition of same-sex marriage.

Tony Abbott brushed aside demands for a "conscience vote," which would free voting representatives from party discipline, when the proposal is introduced next year. He said that the opposition would unite against the measure, promising that "there will be a strong majority support for the traditional position."

Courthouse News Service Predicts Partial Victory for Prop 8 Proponents After Oral Arguments

Courthouse News Service:

After lengthy oral argument, the 9th Circuit appeared poised to rule that a video from the trial on the constitutionality of California's same-sex marriage ban, Proposition 8, was improperly broadcast to the public.

The court seemed less likely to accept the Prop. 8 proponents' argument that the district judge who struck down the measure should have recused himself because of his long-term relationship with another man.

Nigeria Reacts to Threats to Withdraw Aid: "To Hell With the Superpowers if They are For Gay Marriages"

This story is about the reaction in Nigeria to President Obama's new policy, announced by Secretary Clinton, to take into account the treatment of gay rights in the dispersal of U.S. foreign aid. To be fair, the policy did not explicitly state that laws regarding gay marriage would be incorporated in the directive.

From the perspective of Nigeria it appears gay rights and gay marriage are now synonyms. (It often seems that way from our side of the pond.)

We're posting this as an example of the globalization of the culture wars, not because we support Nigeria's laws:

It took barely twenty-four hours for Nigeria’s House of Representatives to register its answer to the Obama Administration’s pledge to become more vigorous in protecting the human rights of LGBT people abroad. The Associated Press reports that the bill which imposes prison terms for gay unions of all stripes which passed the Nigerian Senate last week has was introduced into the nation’s lower house today.

...President Barack Obama’s actions and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s speech seems to have touched off a particular anger, with one lawmaker vowing to up the ante:

Mohammed vowed lawmakers would proscribe even tougher penalties than those proposed so far. He said “to hell with the super powers if they are for gay marriages.” -- Box Turtle Bulletin

Secretary Clinton: "Religious Beliefs" Are "Standing in the Way of Protecting Human Rights of LGBT People"

CNS News:

Religious beliefs and cultural values do not justify the failure to uphold the human rights of homosexuals, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told the United Nations in Geneva on Tuesday.

"Now, raising this issue, I know, is sensitive for many people and that the obstacles standing in the way of protecting the human rights of LGBT people rest on deeply held personal, political, cultural, and religious beliefs," Clinton said.

Her speech at the Geneva headquarters of the United Nations and its Human Rights Council (HRC) was delivered ahead of Human Rights Day on December 10, the anniversary of the U.N.’s adoption in 1948 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Prop 8 Hearing Today — Keep Up With It Live!

This afternoon, beginning at 2:30 pm PT / 5:30 pm ET, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit will be hearing oral arguments on California's Proposition 8. You can learn more about the hearing as it progresses by visiting us at prop8case.com.

Video: Maryland Marriage Alliance Announces "We Have Something To Say About SSM Inevitability!"

Last week's kick-off events for the Maryland Marriage Alliance in Temple Hills and Baltimore included dozens of pastors speaking out in defense of marriage -- you can watch a highlight reel of the speeches right here:

DEADLINE TOMORROW: Tell the Scottish Government to Protect Marriage!

Email Header Image

Dear Marriage Supporter,

Tomorrow, the Scottish Government closes a public consultation period on the question of same-sex marriage.

We need your help today to tell the Scottish Government that people around the world understand and support the true definition of marriage.

Take Action Now

In what appears to be a desperate attempt to sway the outcome, the Scottish Government has been persuaded to accept responses from outside the UK, allowing gay marriage groups to organize supporters from around the world in their campaign to rewrite Scotland's marriage law.

Please help give the Scottish Government an accurate perception of world opinion on same-sex marriage! ScotlandforMarriage.org has set up an approved web portal at which you can answer the six questions being asked by the Scottish government. All responses will be sent directly to the Scottish Government.

Time is short. Please take action today!

Faithfully,

Brian Brown

Brian S Brown

Brian S. Brown
President
National Organization for Marriage

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Activists Tell Michigan Mayor: You're Not Entitled to Object to Gay Marriage

What began as a protest against the use of the Q-word, for which the Mayor of Troy, MI has apologized, has morphed into the public position: you are not entitled to oppose gay marriage.

Watch, it's telling:

"Free speech is one thing, hateful speech is another." e.g. you should be ashamed to say that marriage is the union of one man and one woman.

Related on NOMblog: PPP Poll: Michigan Voters Oppose SSM 53%-33% (08/17/11)

He Said Explicit Videos Were Inappropriate For High Schoolers...And Was Denounced As A Homophobe!?

Dear Marriage Supporter,

An anti-bullying curriculum in the Vancouver public schools points kids to a website featuring explicit videos of gay sex. When school board Trustee Ken Denike learned of it, he suggested periodic reviews of all online resources...and was roundly denounced by community leaders as a homophobe!

True story. See it here.

Ken Denike

Our most recent Marriage ADA video features Vancouver School Trustee Ken Denike and mental health professional Sophia Woo, who have been trying to help concerned parents protect their children from an anti-bullying curriculum produced by Out in Schools pointing kids to online "resources" that amount to little more than gay pornography.

The request from Trustee Denike and Ms. Woo? That the school district implement a policy for periodic review of websites referenced in school curriculum, recognizing that website content can change quickly.

The school board refuses to do anything to protect kids from these explicit websites. Anti-bullying teacher Ryan Clayton, who has worked with the Out in Schools curriculum, chalks it up to a politically motivated attack. And for their efforts, Ken Denike and Sophia Woo are denounced as homophobes.

Imagine that—in our neighbor to the north, protecting 13 year old children from being exposed to pornography in public schools is now just a politically motivated attack.

Let's be clear—this is not about a student using a school computer to access pornography. This is about official curriculum recommending students visit a website containing gay pornography—and personal attacks directed at anyone who dares stand up for our kids.

The gay press understands the issue:

This is a moral question, I agree. Just as the black civil rights movement changed the rules of what is and isn't acceptable for racism, the gay rights movement is shifting norms in Canada. And with that comes a message to those who won't evolve: your outdated morals are no longer acceptable, and we will teach your kids the new norms.

"We will teach your kids the new norms." There it is—this is the whole story in eight simple words. No exemptions, no alternatives—just forcing kids to be exposed to government-sponsored porn, in an effort to shift cultural norms and reshape our kids' understanding of right and wrong.

This cannot go unanswered, but we need your help to continue this fight.

You've been a strong supporter of marriage and of NOM's efforts to protect marriage and religious liberty (thank you again), so you of all people understand how our opponents are viciously targeting people's safety, property, and livelihoods—and what we can do to fight back!

If you do one thing this week, watch this video and then make one urgent online contribution to NOM so we can spread the truth about what's going on in America.

Marriage ADA will continue to release—one-at-a-time—a series of incredible new videos about other courageous pro-marriage citizens.

Our goal is to create a community of Americans who adhere to the core Gospel value: "Be not afraid!"

Thanks for acting fast,

Brian Brown

Brian Brown

Brian S. Brown
Executive Director
NOM Education Fund

P.S. Please forward this email to three friends right now so they can see the truth and get involved. Isolated and alone, we can be intimidated. Together we are too many to be treated as second-class citizens.

Simply visit MarriageADA.org, learn our stories, and make one urgent contribution. Thank you again, and God bless you!

P.P.S. Out in Schools has now voluntarily removed this website from new printed materials in response to concerns raised by Trustee Denike and Ms. Woo.

So their courageous stand has already had an effect!

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A "Bad Catholic" Case Against SSM?

Marc Barnes who writes the "Bad Catholic" blog at Patheos.com posts an essay on why he opposes SSM in response to a viral video of a college student who loves his two moms. He begins:

My first reaction is one of happiness. The fact that this individual came out healthier and happier and seemingly much more normal than most human beings deserves some thanksgiving. After all, his family scenario isn’t the likely scenario within the gay community. First of all, few gay relationships achieve the longevity of heterosexual relationships. Not to say that anybody’s doing great at the “maintaining relationships” thing, but the gay community is doing particularly terribly.

He concludes:

... I don’t point out all this to condemn, only to show that speech given was essentially an emotional appeal based on a singular example. Zach Wahls says there exists no difference between homosexual marriages and heterosexual marriages. Statistics say otherwise. Choose now whom you will believe. Given our current level of rationality and thought, I’ve no doubt the video — at over a million views now — will convert many compassionate, well-intentioned young people to the cause. But it is false advertising, and I — though I wish for the sake of the children of gay marriages that I could  – simply don’t buy it.