NOM BLOG

Resources to You Help You Defend Marriage

In the sixth installment of its series on lessons we can learn from DOMA, Marriage: Unique for a Reason provides some fantastic videos, links, booklets, and other practical resources to help you better promote and defend marriage.

Marriage- Unique for a Reason...Being “neutral” toward marriage redefinition is no longer an option; being proactive is. Defending and promoting marriage go hand in hand, and while not everyone is called to engage in public policy advocacy work, all of us can intentionally promote and defend the uniqueness of marriage and help people see and articulate alternative responses to the dominant cultural messages on marriage.

Marriage: Unique for a Reason has four themes: sexual difference and complementarity, the gift of children and the need for fathers and mothers, marriage and the common good, and marriage and religious liberty. The order is important. The series starts with sexual difference because that is the most fundamental component – and the one most often overlooked – of marriage’s meaning. Starting with sexual difference helps to get at the roots of the issue and address the often unspoken assumptions. It also provides a solid anthropological grounding for the other three themes.

The video about sexual difference is called “Made for Each Other.” Like all of the videos, it comes with a Viewer’s Guide and a Resource Booklet for priests, deacons, catechists, and leaders.

The second theme is about children and the need for fathers and mothers. This theme includes examining what fruitfulness is and why it’s at the heart of marriage. It considers the often overlooked justice issue in the marriage debate: justice for children, to have the best chance at having a mom and a dad. It also addresses the issues of infertility and single parents (see FAQs #3 and #5). The video for this theme is called “Made for Life.” It also comes with a Viewer’s Guide and Resource Booklet.

...there is one video in Spanish – to be released later in 2013 – that incorporates all four themes in a longer, dramatic style. It’s called “El Matrimonio: Hecho para el amor y la vida” (Marriage: Made for Love and Life). The final version will be subtitled in English, and the accompanying Study Guide will be bilingual, so these resources will be suitable for mixed-language audiences.

Visit Marriage: Unique for a Reason's blog for more FAQs on marriage and resources that will help you protect it.

The National Organization for Marriage Responds To The U.S. Treasury Department / IRS Granting Federal Tax Treatment to "Married" Same Sex Couples

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: August 29, 2013
Contact: Elizabeth Ray or Jen Campbell (703-683-5004)


"The Treasury Department is grossly overstepping its authority. This is a nation of laws. Only Congress has the authority to change the law." — Brian Brown, NOM president —

National Organization for Marriage

Washington, D.C. — Today, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) denounced the U.S. Treasury Department’s ruling that same-sex couples who "married" in a jurisdiction that recognizes same-sex 'marriage' will be treated as married couples for federal tax purposes even if they live in state that does not recognize same-sex 'marriage.'

"The Treasury Department is grossly overstepping its authority. This is a nation of laws. Only Congress has the authority to change the law," stated Brian Brown, NOM president.

This action continues a pattern of lawlessness across the nation where administrators and clerks have taken it upon themselves to interpret and re-write laws as they pertain to marriage. Only the legislative branches of the Federal or State governments enact or rewrite the law.

"The Obama administration is intent on forcing same-sex 'marriage' on an unwilling public," Brown said. "Congress alone has the responsibility of determining federal tax law."

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To schedule an interview with Brian Brown, President of the National Organization for Marriage, please contact Elizabeth Ray (x130), [email protected], or Jen Campbell (x145), [email protected], at 703-683-5004.

Paid for by The National Organization for Marriage, Brian Brown, president. 2029 K Street NW, Suite 300 Washington, DC 20006, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. New § 68A.405(1)(f) & (h).

Despite Personal Views, Mayor Remains Committed to Democratic Process

Mayor Larry Keller

We've heard lots of news lately about elected officials sidestepping or ignoring the law completely in order to push same-sex marriage in their states. But to Mayor Larry Kelly, Pennsylvania's marriage law is no different from any other state law. And despite his personal views, he knows his constituents trust him to enforce it.

Philly.com:

...Mayor Larry Keller, citing his duty as an elected official to uphold the law, declined to officiate a same-sex wedding for a couple who had obtained a marriage license in Montgomery County, where such licenses have been issued in defiance of state law since earlier this month.

In a letter to council members last week, Keller said that he did not want to "put New Hope Borough, and myself, at legal risk for breach of my official duties as Mayor" by overseeing the wedding. State law defines marriage as being between one man and one woman.

Lincoln County Clerk: "I Will Not Issue Same-Sex Marriage Licenses"

Not all New Mexico county clerks are taking the state's marriage law into their own hands.

With county clerks in Dona Ana County and Santa Fe County issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, clerks in other counties are feeling the heat and that's not how the issue should be handled, in the view of Lincoln County Clerk Rhonda Burrows.

Gov. Martinez"It's unfortunately that county clerks have been put in the position of ruling on an issue that should be decided by a court, by the Legislature or by the vote of the people," she said Tuesday. "But unless and until we have a (state) Supreme Court ruling or a specific case is decided in Lincoln County, we will continue under the current position of not issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

"...I will continue to follow the law as we understand it and as applicable to Lincoln County, and I will not issue same-sex marriage licenses." -Ruidoso News

New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez stated yesterday that clerks do not have the authority to make, break, or interpret the law. But Martinez doesn't need to wait on the Judiciary. As Governor and a top executive official of New Mexico, she is able to state the policy and hand it down to the people. Send Governor Martinez an urgent message asking her to intervene immediately to stop this lawlessness.

And keep in mind, this is what an elected official SHOULD do when clerks defy the law!

50,000 Signatures for 1M1W Marriage in Scotland!

Scotland for Marriage has gathered more than 50,000 signatures for their petition in support of retaining the current definition of marriage between one man and one woman. According to the group, that's more supporters than the combined paid membership of all the main political parties in Scotland.

The 50,000th signatory is 20-year-old Iain Donoghue, a third-year student from Falkirk.

He said: “I feel that it is entirely unnecessary to change the existing law. Marriage is between one man and one woman to the exclusion of others with a view to the procreation of children.”

He added: “The opinion polls are very clear on the issue and show widespread support for the existing law and suggest that two-thirds of people are in favour of maintaining the status quo.”

A Scotland for Marriage spokesman said the group intends to put pressure on politicians about the plans. -Christian Institute

Scotland for Marriage

Huffington Post Admits We’re Right

Whenever we talk about the effects of redefining marriage -- the normalization and legalization of polygamy, threats to religious liberty, lawsuits against small business owners, etc. -- same-sex marriage advocates counter by insisting these threats aren't real. They claim we're overreacting so that they can falsely assuage the legitimate concerns of Americans who value their first amendment rights. But the truth is, most SSM activists know exactly what's in the cards once marriage is redefined.

HuffPo:

UKThe ink is not yet dry on David Cameron's gay marriage Bill and already two stories in the news this week show that the Bill's critics have been proved right. A wealthy gay couple say they "have launched" legal action to force gay weddings on the Church of England; and the BBC is cheerleading for polyamory (mutiple-partner relationships).

...During the passage of the gay marriage Bill, I was one of those saying that the Church would face litigation. I was accused of scaremongering and of whipping up hysteria. It'll never happen, they said with a straight face. Perhaps they meant it. Perhaps they honestly couldn't see the danger. Perhaps, but I doubt it. The thing is, many people could see the risk, including the Church itself (initially) and leading human rights lawyers.

Take Immediate Action To Stop Discrimination Against Pro-Family Groups

National Organization for Marriage

Dear Marriage Supporter,

The California Legislature is at it again, this time considering legislation that would strip groups of their tax exemption if their beliefs and practices don't affirm concepts like "gender identity" and gay "marriage" and other ideas that fly in the face of the teachings of virtually every faith tradition. SB 323 was originally aimed at the Boy Scouts, falsely claiming that they engaged in discriminatory practices by supposedly not accepting homosexual members.

But the fact is that the bill would punish any type of group with traditional values, and allow only liberal groups that affirm the homosexual agenda to enjoy a tax exemption.

SB 323 is an example of what happens when marriage is redefined, as tragically happened when the US Supreme Court refused to hear the appeal of the Proposition 8 case. Seven million Californians had their victory for marriage stolen by a single, rogue federal judge in San Francisco — someone who himself was engaged in a long term homosexual relationship just like those who were challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8. Because the state officials responsible for defending Prop 8 refused to do so, and because a bare majority of the Supreme Court said the proponents of the initiative couldn't defend it, the decision of this lone judge was allowed to stand, redefining marriage over the express determination of the people themselves.

It's no wonder that the main group that opposed Proposition 8, the mis-named Equality California, is the same group that is sponsoring SB 323. They, with their allies, want to silence faith groups and those who stand in the public square for a traditional view of sexual morality. In fact, they'd like to punish us by stripping faith groups of their tax exemption.

Think about how outrageous this legislation really is. Groups that have historically fed the hungry, housed the homeless, cared for orphans, educated the young, and tended the sick are all being targeted by homosexual advocates who demand conformance to their narrow agenda. No matter the incredible service that church groups and those who hold a traditional set of values and beliefs have performed for society and youth, they are to be punished if some state official determines that they "discriminate" by not going along with the gay lobby's agenda.

It is imperative that we all fight back now by contacting our state Assembly representative and urging him or her to oppose SB 323. It's unfair, un-American, one-sided and frankly outrageous. Contact your representative here.

We have a real chance of stopping this legislation, but we need you to act immediately. Please act this very minute to contact your Assembly representative.

Now that homosexual marriage advocates have gotten the courts to do their dirty work and impose same-sex 'marriage,' they now are focusing their efforts on silencing all those who oppose them. And make no mistake, that's exactly what SB 323 is intended to do.

Already in other states, we've seen lawsuits by government officials and gay advocates against florists, photographers, inn keepers, bakers, churches and others, all because they don't want to personally participate in same-sex ceremonies. We expect similar actions in California. But no state has yet gone as far as the bullies behind SB 323 in California who want to put their opponents out of business, and allow only groups that embrace a homosexual-friendly agenda to enjoy a tax exemption.

We can't let them get away with this. And with your help, they won't get away with it. Please contact your state Assembly representative immediately and demand that he or she oppose SB 323.

Thank you for your attention to this critically important issue.

Faithfully,

Brian S. Brown

Will They Hear You?

National Organization for Marriage

Dear Marriage Supporter,

Governor Abercrombie has announced his intention to call a special session of the legislature in the event that there appear to be enough votes to redefine marriage in Hawaii to make it genderless.

We're urgently asking you to act right now to let your elected officials know that you oppose any such measure, and that they should vote to preserve and defend marriage in Hawaii as it has been legally defined: as the union of one man and one woman.

In a letter to the Catholic Diocese of Honolulu on August 22, Bishop Larry Silva wrote that "several legislators who are not in favor of same-sex marriage have told [him] that the loudest voices on the issue are those who favor it, while those who say they are opposed are relatively silent" [emphasis added].

This is how marriage has been redefined elsewhere around the country: the powerful lobbying forces and the noise-making power of an elite minority drown out the voices of the countless majority of Americans who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.

We can't let that happen in Hawaii. Don't let the noisy few foist this radical agenda on the pro-family majority. Let them hear from you today!

We cannot remain "relatively silent" and expect marriage to be preserved against this latest attack. That means it's important to consolidate our voices and speak truth to power together. So, please, after you've taken action today, forward this email to your family and friends, and share it on Facebook and Twitter so that the loudest voice heard in Honolulu is yours!

Faithfully,

Brian S. Brown

Divorced Man's Top 20 Things To Do Differently in Marriage

A little mid-week marriage inspiration:

After his marriage of 16 years ended, Gerald Rogers wrote on Facebook the 20 things he would do differently if he had his time over again with his now ex-wife.

"Obviously, I'm not a relationship expert," Rogers begins. "But there's something about my divorce being finalised this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different ... After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here's the advice I wish I would have had."

Couple on Beach1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can't help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

3) Fill her soul every day… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

4) Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

Finish reading Gerald Rogers' list on his Facebook page.

Online Poll: 95% Say Elected Officials Should Enforce Laws as Written

Elected officials are defying state law by making unilateral decisions about marriage. Should this be tolerated?

One News Now conducted a poll this week, asking whether duly elected officials should enforce laws as written or if we should allow them to simply assume the role of the courts. What do you think?

One News Now Poll

Men and Woman: There's a Difference (Shocker!)

Same-sex marriage advocates will tell you "love is love". That there is zero difference between men and women, apart from sexual organs. But the differences between genders are far more than what meets the eye. Scientifically, our brains show major genetic differences as well.

Mothers and fathers play unique roles in the lives of their children because ultimately, they are complementary beings.

There is a growing number of people in our nation today who think that sex (that is, maleness and femaleness) is not an objective biological reality, but rather a social construct.

Human BrainThose who reject the objectivity of sex will often say that although male and female bodies may have some differences between them, our brains are just the same. One man, who is currently raising three “genderless children,” argued, “If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs.”

As it turns out, male and female brains are biologically different.

In 2004 an all-star team of fourteen neuroscientists, from the University of California, the University of Michigan, and Stanford University, published findings showing that male and female brains are genetically different.

The differences between male and female brains affect many aspects of our behavior, including memory, emotion, vision and hearing, how we handle stress… and even the toys we like to play with.

In 2002, Melissa Hines of City University London, and Gerianne M. Alexander of Texas A&M University decided to conduct experiments on vervet monkeys, one of our closest biological cousins. They found that the monkeys showed “sex differences in toy preferences similar to those documented previously in children.” The boy monkeys typically preferred playing with cars and balls, while the female monkeys preferred playing with dolls and pots. (And they didn’t have parents or toy catalogues telling them which they should prefer.) -MattFradd.com

The First Amendment Not Only Protects Free Speech, But the Right Not to be Coerced into Speech

Dr. Frank Turek is an award-winning author and courageous marriage defender who was fired - twice! - for his beliefs. With his unique perspective, he makes a point to speak out often about the importance of our first amendment rights.

Check out Frank's latest article on New Mexican photographer Elane Huguenin, who was sued by a same-sex couple after standing strong on her marriage beliefs as well.

Frank Turek's StoryAlthough the lesbian couple that brought the complaint easily found another photographer, Elane Photography now must pay nearly $7,000 in court costs for merely exercising her First Amendment rights.

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution was put in place to prevent exactly what the New Mexico Supreme Court has done: using the strong arm of government to force citizens to advocate (not just tolerate) ideas and behaviors that contradict their religious or moral convictions. Forcing people to support same sex weddings or commitment ceremonies is forcing them to advocate same sex behavior.

Even the U.N. Human Rights Committee recognizes a universal human right not to be coerced into advocating any idea. (You know our country is stuck on stupid when our courts are getting human rights lessons from the U.N.!)

Now, if you justify this decision because you disagree with Elane Photography's religious or moral position, you're not thinking like an American (or a U.N. person). Imagine a homosexual videographer being forced to video a speech that a conservative makes against homosexual behavior and same sex marriage. Should that homosexual videographer be forced to do so? Of course not! Then why Elane Photography?

It is important to understand that Elane Photography was not refusing service because of the "sexual orientation" or sexual attractions of the couple. In fact, Elane Photography was happy to work with lesbian clients on other projects that did not involve advocating homosexual behavior (for example, taking professional head shots). In this case however, she declined service because she did not want to use her artistic talents to advocate sexual actions that went against her moral and religious beliefs.

Finish reading at The Christian Post.

Gov. Martinez: County Clerks Do Not Have Authority to Make Decisions on Marriage

New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez finally reacted to the lawless behavior of County Clerks in New Mexico.  She'd doesn't think clerks have the authority to interpret the law; that should be left to the judges.  However, she does not need to wait on the Judiciary.  As California Attorney General stated, local officials are accountable to the top executive officials in the state.   Click here to send Governor Martinez an urgent message asking her to intervene to stop the lawlessness.

Gov. Martinez

Contact Gov. Martinez to THANK her for her strong support of marriage and continue to urge her to intervene so the rule of law and the rightful definition of marriage in New Mexico can be restored.

Last Thursday, more than two dozen New Mexico legislators signed on to a lawsuit to stop the lawless County Clerk in Dona Ana County. However, the governor has still not signed on, so let's keep the pressure.

Here's a No Brainer... Every Dollar You Give Now to Save Marriage Will be DOUBLED!

National Organization for Marriage

Dear Marriage Supporter,

Last week I let you know about the many good things going on in the marriage battle around the country. Today I have even better news! An incredibly generous donor, who is confident in the marriage battle and our collective ability to prevail, has committed to a $1,000,000 matching gift! That's right, between now and the end of the year, every dollar you donate will be DOUBLED up to $1 million.

Donate Today

Your help is needed now more than ever. We have momentum, and we have the American people — a recent Fox News poll demonstrated that 56% of Americans oppose redefining marriage. But marriage and our American way of life are still under attack… and NO state or municipality is safe!

  • In New Mexico, the State Supreme Court ruled that Christian wedding photographers and other service providers MUST compromise their faith and their first amendment rights by providing services for same-sex 'marriages.'

  • In Washington State, the State Attorney General has brought suit against a Christian florist for declining to provide flowers to such a ceremony.

  • And in Vermont, Christian bed-and-breakfast owners who chose not to host a same-sex couple's ceremony have been forced to pay a hefty fine and cease hosting any weddings, depriving them of a good part of their livelihood.

And there are countless other examples around the country. This is not the America our Founding Fathers envisioned.

Donate Today

Again, in New Mexico, the outbreak of lawlessness surrounding the debate on marriage has continued, with a Dona Ana County Clerk deciding to take the law into his own hands and begin issuing illegal same-sex marriage 'licenses.'

This comes on the heels of a rogue county official in Pennsylvania who felt it was more important to 'be on the right side of history' than to uphold his oath of office and the rule of law — and in the aftermath of Governors and States' Attorneys Generals who have abandoned their sworn duties and the trust of those who elected them.

And this lawlessness goes right to the federal government, with the IRS refusing to even acknowledge that NOM was the victim of felony when someone within the IRS leaked our confidential tax return to the same-sex marriage lobbying group, Human Rights Campaign at the very time their president was a national co-chair of President Obama's reelection campaign!

Donate Today

Supporter, your generous financial support is urgently needed this very minute if we are to stop the corruption that is occurring all around us and continue to fight for the truth of marriage. We've got to organize supporters to put a halt to elected officials taking the law into their own hands and imposing same-sex marriage where it is currently prohibited.

Additionally, state marriage battles across the nation are already heating up and NOM needs your help to continue standing on the front lines against the redefinition of marriage.

In particular, we are fighting furiously in the legislatures of Illinois and New Jersey to prevent a redefinition of marriage in the closing months of this year. And just this week a new fight has erupted in Hawaii, where a pro-same-sex marriage governor is threatening to call a special session to redefine marriage in the next two weeks. In each of these locales, our opponents are amassing millions of dollars to spend against us, yet we remain hopeful that gay 'marriage' can be stopped in these places.

However, the fact is that we need your sacrificial gift right now to prevail. Through God's grace, a major donor will immediately match your donation, and we can deploy those resources where they are most needed.

In Illinois, courageous black legislators and pastors worked with us to stop same-sex 'marriage' earlier this year, but in the fall we're facing a multi-million dollar campaign to overcome their resistance.

In New Jersey, Governor Christie vetoed redefining marriage, but homosexual 'marriage' activists are vowing to try to override his veto.

In Hawaii, a special session to redefine marriage is looming, and legislators who support traditional marriage say they are only hearing from people who want to impose same-sex marriage on the state. It's imperative that we work in concert with allies to help organize the grassroots to inundate lawmakers with appeals to preserve marriage as God designed it.

Finally, as we look to next year, we expect at least three and maybe as many as SIX state initiatives to be on the ballot in November 2014.

Indiana, behind the strong leadership of Governor Mike Pence, will likely have a marriage amendment before the people of the Hoosier State, while in Oregon and Ohio homosexual 'marriage' activists will attempt to overturn existing marriage amendments already passed by the people.

We know our opponents will be committing TENS of millions of dollars to these fights.

Donate Today

I won't lie to you. We have a lot of work cut out for us, and we'll need as many resources as we can muster to succeed. Sometimes I feel like the Israelites from the Old Testament, when their rag tag army was arrayed against the vast power of the Philistines and their giant warrior, Goliath. Of course we know how that confrontation ended, and we can win a similar victory for marriage if only you will help us fill our pouch with stones. That's why it's so crucial to take advantage of this very special opportunity between now and the end of the year, as a generous donor who believes we'll deliver a victory for the truth of marriage and is inviting you to join us in the battle.

Please make a sacrificial gift today knowing that every dollar you can spare will be DOUBLED.

And please forward this email, or share it on Facebook and Twitter, to as many family and friends as possible. Ask them to join you and our generous benefactor in this special opportunity to double your money for marriage.

Faithfully,

Brian S. Brown

Hawaiian Bishop Makes Urgent Appeal for Marriage

Hawaii House Democrats are planning to meet this week in a special session to discuss a bill that could redefine marriage for the state. But Hawaiian faith leaders are fighting back. Bishop Silva from the Diocese of Honolulu issued a memorandum to all parishioners this past Sunday, clarifying Church teaching and asking people of faith to mobilize into action.

bishop_same-sex_marriage_cover_letter_to_pastors_8_22_13

 

Read Bishop Silva's urgent letter on the redefinition of marriage in Hawaii HERE.